Workout advice

I have a very controversial opinion here, some of you may call it a "hot take" so be advised.
BUT I think that all these guys that say that your nighttime routines should at least have two rounds of chasing women at night are WRONG!!!!
Now lemme get into my first argument which is:
Why not chase everyone walking in your neighborhood at night with a hammer.
The reasons for why I think this is better:
First: You'll be chasing more people men and women included. More people to chase = More work and motivation to do so
Second: If you do it with a hammer they will run faster. This will motivate you to run faster and work harder
Third: Running challenges with your gym buddies just got even more fun! Try it out! See how many people you can get to scream in horror as they desperately try to escape your blood fulled alpha male sprint towards them!
Fourth: You will no longer be known as a weak soyjack woman chaser. You will now be a harbinger of terror for everyone who lives in your area. Watch as your neighbors lock their doors and the dog walkers frantically dash for their house as they watch you drive to work!

Thanks for reading!
Share you opinions on the matter in the comments!